III. Relational Skills

Relation skills deal with how you share information and you active listening and constructive criticism. Relational skills are interpersonal communication skills used to build or to maintain a good relationship. Relational skills apply to the workplace and away from the work place.

A.  Recognition

Recognition includes everyday talk of another person. And greetings are always good to give to a person because that shows how much you appreciate them. Greetings don’t always have to be verbal the can be non-verbal too. Always say hi and bye when entering and leaving a conversation.

B.  Small talk

When you are starting a conversation and you say how it is going it lets another person know that you know they are there. And when you talk about sports and shopping this kind of conversation is called water- cooler and coffee- machine conversation the reason for names like this is because this is where people usually gather to talk about the conversations.

C. Sharing Personal Information

1.     To share your information that may or may not be personal to you, you are going to have to trust the person that you are telling. You choose to share you are not forced to tell anything.

2.     Many people try to hide what they really feel like if you know some one who has a smile on there face and yet when they are alone they are the sadist person in the world this is called wearing a mask. Your friend has the right to tell you if he or she wants don’t force them into it.

3.     Sharing personal information means voluntarily telling someone relatively private information about yourself.

4.     Guidelines for sharing personal information:

·        Don’t over talk-people who talk about themselves too much and too quickly sometimes have difficultly establishing successful personal and work relationships.

·        Don’t under talk- the person who listens to everyone else, but never talks about themselves will ruin the possible relationship.

·        Choose the information you wish to share wisely- You can always decide when and with whom you wish to talk about personal things.

·        Indicate the level of privacy you prefer- When you reveal personal information in the workplace, place limits on the discussion. Like being out for minor surgery, but telling your boss you didn’t really want to get into it is setting limits on the personal information discussion.

D. Active listening                                                

·        This type of listening is mostly done by professionals such as counselors or therapists or psychologists, etc. This type of listening takes patience and sensitivity. It also requires personal listening skills. Like people who work as hairstylist, taxi drivers, or bartenders have to be good listeners for their customers.

·        Active listening is all about recognizing the other person’s feelings and reflecting back on those feelings to the speaker. You must carefully identify the feelings being expressed and responding sensitively. And you must recognize what is being implied, not actually being said.

·        The better you know a person, the more you can imply on that speaker on what they are implying. So if you know the person well, you will be able to interpret the feeling accurately.

   E. Constructive Criticism

1.     Constructive criticism involves stating what is not working or what is bothering you and making thoughtful suggestions for change. The whole purpose of this type of criticism is to identify and to fix a problem so you can make the relationship work. But it also requires self-control.

2.     These guidelines help constructive criticism:

ь      Talk to others in terms of “I”- Tell others how their behavior affects you

ь      Describe the behavior; don’t label the person- detailed comments can tell the other person exactly what is upsetting you.

ь      Stick to the present- Don’t criticize about the past. If someone is upsetting you about something they are doing, don’t reflect on the past. Don’t do it all at once, it’s not fair.

3.     It takes time and thought to phrase criticism in a constructive way, but it’s worth the effort.

F.  Developing Relational Skills copy

·        You must recognize relational skills in situations to work on building them.

·        Recognize the need for improving a particular skill- is honest. Analyze your present communication behavior and decide what could be improved.

·        Plan the change- once deciding on something to work on, figure out what you want the outcome to be.

·        Try it out- take the risk and practice the new behavior. Set a goal for how often you will practice it and in what situations you will use it.

·        Get feedback and modify your behavior- find out from others how you are doing. Use this feedback to adjust your behavior.

·        Make it your own- Personalize the new behavior. Practice it in daily life until it becomes a common part of your communication patterns.